Technical Analysis - (traditional) a voodoo, the animal blood and chanting excluded; (Point and Figure) a really weird voodoo, the animal blood and chanting excluded.
Top - (when you have an open long position) the point on the chart where the stock price backs off fast before you get out; (when you have an open short position) the exact spot where you cover.
Trainer - the only man in the room who has never tried intraday trading in his life.
Trend Line - an imaginary line on the price chart that only changes when the market is closed or when you are not looking.
Up On The Day - what you are when the market closes, not taking into account ticket charges.
Uptick - (when you have an open long position) added hope; (when you have an open short position) a market maker, letting everyone else in; (if no positions are open) a good chance to lose some money through opening a short position.
Volume Spike - (an open position) confirmation that you are either the smartest person or the biggest idiot on Earth; (no positions are open) confirmation that you are the smartest person on the planet, but you were not paying attention.