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Thread: JOKE

  1. #31
    Senior Trader
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    Two stock brokers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in, waving guns and yelling for everyone to freeze. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the two stock brokers, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables. While this is going on, one of the stock brokers jams something into the other stockbroker's hand. Without looking down, the second stockbroker whispers: "What is this?" The first stockbroker : "It's the $100 I owe you!

  2. #32
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    If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

    With Enron, you would have $16.50 of the original $1,000.00.

    With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.

    If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $214.00.

    Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

  3. #33
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    A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill. He decided to try it out anyway.
    He went to the teller at the local bank and asked for change.
    The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.

  4. #34
    steph.wis
    Guest
    Couple of interesting one liners . Enjoy.

    The market is weird.
    Every time one guy sells, another one buys,
    and they both think they’re smart.

    What’s another name for long term investment?
    A failed short term investment!

    A study of economics usually reveals
    that the best time to buy anything was last year.

    Who was the world’s first stock broker?
    Noah – He floated his stock while the world was in liquidation.

    An investor to his advisor:
    Is really all my money gone?
    No, of course not. It’s just with somebody else!

    There are three kinds of people.
    Those who can count and those who cannot.

    My wife’s purse was stolen the other day.
    It had all her credit cards in it.
    I was going to report it but the thief was spending less than she was!

  5. #35
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    Height of materialism:

    A yuppie was opening the door of his BMW when a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie complained bitterly about the damage to his car.
    "Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!"
    "You yuppies are so materialistic, it's ridiculous" retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off."
    "Oh, my God!" screamed the yuppie, noticing the bloody stump where his arm used to be. "My Rolex!"

  6. #36
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  7. #37
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  8. #38
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  9. #39
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    Hello Dear i am here New anyone Welcome me

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  11. #40
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    well anyone speak in urdu & Hindi ?

  12. ARIONFORXtarder
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