Management student kisses a girl.
Girl: Whats this?
Boy: Its called DIRECT MARKETING.
(Girl slaps the boy)
Boy: What is this?
Girl: This is CUSTOMER FEED BACK.
Collected 'Funny' Trading Book Names
Trading in the Twilight Zone
How I made $20 in the Stock Market
Stock Market Blizzards
Probably High Trading
Technical Analysis of Stock Traps
How to Make Money in Stockings
A Random Hock Down Wall Street
Trading is for Dummies
Options, Pricing, and Futility
To Kill a Martingale
"Getting Finished in Options" , the Last Edition
Options as a Tragic Investment
Trading for a Survival
Come into my Trading Trunk
Technical Analysis of the Fickle Markets
How to make a fortune selling books about the Stock Markets
Fraud Like a Hedge Fund
Lucky Market Lizards
Reminiscences of a Commission Generator
Trading for a bankruptcy filling
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Little Johnny was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson. 'If you had ten dollars,' said the teacher, 'and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?'
'Ten,' said Little Johnny firmly.
'Ten?' the teacher said 'How do you make it ten?'
'Well,' replied Little Johnny 'You may ask for a loan of eight dollars, but that doesn't mean you'll get it!'
Once upon a time in a village, a man announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10. The Villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to $25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for $50. The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere! Welcome to the 'Stock Market'.
These two women were walking through the forest when they hear this voice from under a log. Investigating, the women discovered the voice was coming from a frog:
"Help me, ladies! I am an investment banker who, through an evil witch's curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I'll be returned to my former state!"
The first woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The second woman, aghast, screamed, "Didn't you hear him? If you kiss him, he'll turn into an investment banker?"
The second woman replied, "Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than an investment banker!"
haahaaa gud one
This is a one liner, still too funny to miss.
The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night............. I woke up every hour and cried
yeah that was a gud one. Here is another epic stock broker joke....
Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a Donkey from a farmer for 100. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day.The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.' Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.' The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.' Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.' The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him? Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.' The farmer said ‘You can't raffle off a dead donkey!' Chuck said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?' Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.' The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?' Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'
Chuck now works in Wall Street.