Money, money, money

[Francesco]

1 dollar (Made in Russia)

[Ivana]

[Ivana]

[Francesco]

Sex is like my trading account. I lose interest as soon as I withdraw.

[Ivana]

[Ivana]

Lottery
A broker named, Jean Paul, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer named Ben for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day, Ben drove up and said,
• Ben: Sorry, but I have some bad news. The donkey died.
• Jean Paul: Well, then, just give me the money back,
• Ben: Can't do that. I went and spent it already.
• Jean Paul: OK, then. Just unload the donkey,
• Ben: What ya going to do with him?
• Jean Paul: I'm going to raffle him off,
• Ben: You can't raffle off a dead donkey!
• Jean Paul: Sure can. Watch me. I just won't tell that he's dead,
A month later Ben met up with the Cajun and asked,
• Ben: What happened with that dead donkey?
• Jean Paul: I raffled him off, I did. I sold 500-hunderd tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898,
• Ben: Didn't anyone complain?
• Jean Paul: Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.

[Francesco]

A wife comes in and yells, “Honey! Pack your clothes! I just won the lottery!” Her husband yells back, “But what should I pack?” The wife replies, “I DON’T CARE! JUST PACK AND GET OUT!”

[Katy]

[Francesco]

[Ivana]

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost.
He reduced his altitude and saw a man below.
"Excuse me, but can you help me?
I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but
I don't know where I am," he said.
The man below replied: "You are in a hot air balloon
hovering approximately 30 ft above the ground.
You are between 40 and 41 degrees North latitude and
between 56 and 57 degrees West longitude."
To which the balloonist replied:
"You must be a broker." To which the man on the ground said:
"I am, but how did you know?"
The reply came from above: "Everything you told me is
technically correct but I have no idea what to make of your
information, and the fact is I'm still lost.
Frankly, you've not been much help so far."
The man below responded: "You must be a trader."
To which the balloonist replied: "Yes, I am, but how did you know?"
To which the man on the ground said: "You don't know where you
are or where you are going. You have risen to your current position
due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have
no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem.
The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in
before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."