JOKE

[Ivana]

haaahaaa thats funny.... kidding apart, what are you upto these days?

[Mick]

well I was in stocks... I am moving to forex and commodities. There is so much money to be made in forex these days you know... and commodities are more reliable than stocks these days haahaaaaa

[Ivana]

ohhh thats good.... give me some tips in forex... I mean any educational material or something... I want to do forex trading too... if your trades are successful, I will copy your trades

[Mick]

yeah sure, I can help... there is a ton of information on this same forum you know... refer to educational topics section... yeah you can copy trade me..

[kathrine]

The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried.

[kathrine]

The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.

[Ivana]

This is so hilarious...

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I wan t to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............

[Mick]

The more I read this the more it makes perfectly good sense.
Let's put the seniors in jail, and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the seniors would have access to showers, hobbies, and walks, they'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc. and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly if they fell, or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes, and bring their meals and snacks to their cell. They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose. They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counseling, pool, and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, P.J.'s and legal aid would be free, on request. Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens. Each senior could have a PC, a TV, radio, and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors, to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The "criminals" would get cold food, be left all alone, and unsupervised -lights off at 8pm, showers once a week, live in a tiny room, pay $5000.00 per month and have no hope of ever getting out.
Justice for all.

[kathrine]

Forex trader: What is a million years like to you?
God: Like one second.

Forex trader: What is a million dollars like to you?
God: Like one penny.

Forex trader: Can I have a penny?
God: Just a second …

[kathrine]

Forex money manager goes at the street and very nice young lady ask him:

Lady: Dear sir, im making poll, can i ask you simple question?
Manager: Of course you can.

Lady: What is your average income?
Manager: My average income is around 200 000 $.

Lady: Im sorry, i thought your monthly income.
Manager: Im sorry, i thought daily.